Clarity and motivation

I've been thinking a lot lately about my reasons for being here in Utah. My confusion really hasn't dissipated since I last wrote. When I wrote that I was at peace with my situation that meant that I knew the Lord would take care of me. I'm still not sure about what I should do. The Relief Society lesson spoke about trials and how to bear them. Prayer and scripture study was mentioned a lot. I've been doing that, but I haven't been praying with a purpose. That all changed last night.

Last night, I prayed sincerely about what to do. I prayed sincerely today. I will continue to pray sincerely until I receive an answer.

I came to the realization about some of the reasons that I'm here. Lil Brudder and I have become so close since moving here together. That wouldn't have happened had we not moved out here. Also, I have received tons of clarity about myself and how I was living back home. I was living quite irresponsibly by wasting money. That entire year that I worked at Neill I could have saved the major part of my paycheck and put it into savings for a car. However, I chose to blow most of my paycheck on dvds, cds and the like. Truly immature of me.

Living out here helped me to realize that much of my situation back home was my fault and my fault alone. I chose to blow my money on frivolous things when I could have had my own car and apartment. Also, my social situation was also my fault. I wasn't going to any of the YSA dances or activities. I chose to stay at home and do nothing. No wonder I wasn't meeting any new people!

I know whatever answer I get will be the Lord's will. I have complete faith in His ability to lead my life. He knows all.