Peace at last

So, last Wednesday I had a talk with my bishop. I needed some guidance in my life. I got it! Although nothing was really solved that night it felt good to make decisions that will inevitably improve my life.

Lately, I have been overwhelmed by debt to the point that I felt like I was drowning. In the mission I developed a habit of clenching my jaw in my sleep at night. This is a physical manifestation of the stress I'm unconsciously shoving to the back of my mind. I woke up the other day with a pain in my jaw and head so excruciating that I couldn't ignore it any longer. I needed a solution. My money troubles have been bothering me for quite some time now. I've just been ignoring them in hopes that they'd go away. Not so.

Well, I also realized that I've been foolishly trying to fix things myself. Oh, sure, I've been praying to the Heavenly Father for help and guidance. However, I must say they weren't very sincere prayers. They were more like, "Please help me and guide me," and I would then try to find a way to fix the problem myself. Unsuccessfully, I might add. That's my stubborn pride kickin' in. I like to feel self-sufficient.

Also, I've been feeling like I am suffocating here in my home ward. I feel like it's a black hole for singles. I have been feeling like life has been seriously passing me by and I am powerless to stop it. I realized that if I stay here in my home ward I will end up just like a particular single sister. Alone. That is UNACCEPTABLE!! So, I expressed my concerns to my bishop(who is amazing I might add). He expressed his concern that I would be held back if I stayed in this ward. He's a big advocated for singles wards. So, Sunday I was released from my Primary calling(sad and poignant, but necessary). He told me to try out the wards in BR and NO and see which one I like better. Funny thing is he kept plugging NO to me. It's especially funny since Mop Top is from there.

I told Bishop about my money concerns and he counseled me NOT to apply for bankruptcy. He told me that we were going to look into finding a better job. He told me that I am sadly underemployed(true dat!) and that I need to find something that I can actually exist on. I also told him how I really want and need to move out in order to feel like a real adult. I need my space now. He told me to work towards getting out of debt and then make plans to move out. Smart man this shepherd of H ward.

After all of that I felt amazingly better. I walked out of there like a 10 ton load had been lifted off my shoulders. I love this Church and the way the Lord has it set up. I love that we can go to someone in our times of need and get what we are seeking.

So, I am currently on the hunt for the bigger better job. It's going to take a bit, but I'd really love to turn in my two weeks' notice in April. I don't want to be at my current place of employment passed May. I have contacted my debtors and made plans to work things out. Come the Sunday after General Conference I will be attending BR 4th ward with Wonder Pickle. She even agreed to attend NO with me. How exciting! Things feel like they are going to pick up for me. I am glad.

This Friday is the Spring Formal. I bought a really cute dress and shoes. I really hope Mop Top is there just so I can get my flirt/drool on. Hehehehe... Time's a-wastin'! I will not let grass grow under my feet any longer. I have less than a month until I am no longer YSA age so as Bishop said I will make the most of the time I have. CARPE DIEM!

I'm still a fat heifer, but I'm working on that. It's hard to get back into the swing of things. I know that my recent weight gain has been from the stress and mini depression I've been in. I will get slim and trim by summertime so I can flaunt my curves in my cute swim suit.

That's my truth.

P.S.--The main theme to Out of Africa is simply gorgeous.