Do you ever feel like your life is being run on auto pilot? Do you ever look at your life and say, "Hey! This isn't where I'm supposed to be! This isn't how I imagined my life when I was 16!"? I have been doing that quite a bit lately. My life is a dissappointment as well as an embarrassment to me. I am not where I'd ever imagined myself to be. I feel like an utter failure at life. I don't feel like there's any merit to what I do. I don't feel like I'm contributing to the greater good. The sad truth is that I only have myself to blame. I'm where I am today because of foolish choices. Will I never learn? At 32 you'd think so. Alas, I'm just a wee bit stubborn. I tend to make the same mistakes and then grumble about the consequences. Daft, Jen, just daft.
I've come to some realizations about myself and they aren't too pleasant. I feel very frustrated with myself. I can't quite figure out how to make amends, though. I need to break the cycle. I don't want to still be in the same place that I am 5 years down the road. It's all very vexing and A LOT overwhelming.
Where are the clowns?
3 comments:
Hey, no vexing in Glenhollow. This is where tranquility and harmony reign. :o) We all have moments when we re-evaluate our lives. It's necessary to keep us on the right course. I do this about once a week. Don't beat yourself up. Just make a change. Take a leap. Say to yourself, "Here I go and there's no turning back! My great adventure has begun. I may be small, but I've got giant plans to shine as brightly as the sun! I will blaze until I find my time and place. I will be fearless surrendering modesty and grace. I will not disappear without a trace. I'll shout and start a riot, be anything but quiet. I'll be astonishing at last!!!!!!!!"
I have faith in you, BFITWWW.
Awww, thanks Ann with an E! I love you!
I LOVE you, and you know that! If you would've gone to KY after the mish to be my roomie (and if I'd done the same)... NONE of this would've happend! ha ha ha...j/k. You are just in a DEEP, DEEP rut right now. You have a testimony. You know who you are. Things are just difficult now, and just b/c things haven't worked out recently (or in the past few years) doesn't mean that God doesn't love you, or that things all of a suddent don't happen for a reason. You know that, and so do I. You KNOW what you need to do, you're just as stubborn as me, and sometimes I wait for someone ELSE to do something about it; for someone ELSE to love me, for someone ELSE to pay my bills, for someone ELSE to do the dirty work. Jenn, you are an amazing, strong woman of a lot of faith. GET ON YOUR KNEES AND PLEAD FOR HELP, COMFORT, & GUIDANCE...but promise me whatever your answer is, you'll do it, not regret it, smile, and not look back! PROMISE ME, chica! And then...come visit me!!! Te quiero un monton, mi quachita.
Post a Comment